30 Reflections On My 30th Birthday

I turned 30 last weekend and while I’m told that I still have the face, energy and high-pitched voice of an 18 year old, I’d like to think that over the past three decades I’ve matured both emotionally and spiritually. 

Growing up as the eldest child, I always wished for an older sibling that I could turn to for guidance and wisdom. I always longed for someone to talk to honestly about my doubts and failures, and to glean wisdom from those who have walked ahead of me. For this reason, I have put together a list of life lessons. No matter your age or life-stage, it is my hope that this list will encourage you to persevere with faith, love and hope. 

30 reflections on my 30th birthday:

1. Perfectionism is the killer of progress. Learn to laugh at yourself and to see all your mistakes as opportunities to improve. We cringe at our youth, only because we have grown.


2. Maturity is not defined by one’s age, but one’s ability to identify and serve the needs of others, even if it comes at a personal cost. Yes, even adults can be selfishly immature. 


3. The best friendships are both organic and intentional. While there is no greater feeling than meeting someone you instantaneously ‘click’ with, it takes time and effort to grow beyond the superficial and to forge a friendship that will stand the test of time. 


4. As you get older, your circle of friends will get smaller. Don’t take for granted the ones that stick around.


5. Change is inevitable and yet my desire for unchanged ‘forevers’ points me to the One who has placed eternity on every human heart: “…He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” – Eccl 3:11


6. There is purpose to pain. I wasn’t born with joy, hope, faith and courage. The most resilient parts of my character have been forged through fire.  I know joy and hope because I have tasted despair and sorrow.


7. God doesn’t just zap us with Christ-like characteristics. If we pray for patience, He is bound to give us opportunities to be patient. If we pray for faith, He is bound to shake up our lives so that we learn to trust in Him alone. 


8. Christian love is loving others more than you need love from them. Jesus shows us that His love for us is utterly unconditional even when we fail to show our appreciation or to reciprocate.


9. Point #8 is the reason why my marriage is simultaneously the most glorious expression of Christian love, and the hardest thing I have ever tried to pursue. I fail everyday to keep my marriage vows perfectly, and yet it is precisely in my failure that I experience the depth of God’s love for an unfaithful bride. 


10. Being a mature Christian doesn’t mean that you have to be serious and sad all the time. God created laughter, wine and pleasure; and calls us to receive good gifts with thanksgiving. Learn to sing, dance and laugh. It’s good for your soul!


11. The pursuit of happiness in the temporal is impossible, and will leave you hopelessly unsatisfied. The pursuit of contentment in Christ is possible because He not only created our desires, but has the power to satisfy: “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4


12. Love is a verb, not a feeling. I don’t always feel like loving someone, but in love, I choose to be committed.


13. My emotions are both a weakness and a strength. It is precisely in my anxiety that I experience God’s promise of provision and peace. It is  in my tears that I experience God’s promise of joy and contentment in life’s valleys. It is my excitable, child-like personality that helps me to see God’s goodness in all of life’s little moments. I might be an emotional rollercoaster, but my fickle nature has helped me to appreciate and savour God’s unchanging character and faithfulness to His promises: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. – Hebrews 13:8


14. You don’t need to be an amazing cook or have a beautiful house to show lavish and generous hospitality.


15. My failures and mistakes don’t define who I am. Making a mistake doesn’t make me a mistake. 


16. In 2017, I signed up to an acting agency but quickly realised that not all dreams are worth pursuing. Sometimes personal dreams are not worth the cost. 


17. There is true greatness in humility.


18. Don’t ever look down on those who have less than you. Growing up in a migrant home, I can now see that the best parts of my character have been shaped by people born outside of privilege.


19. It’s not my purpose as a Christian to know my future, but it is my purpose to “be still” and to know the One who has my future in His hands.


20. Every evil that has been inflicted on me in the past will be used by God for good. I may never understand His ways, but I have learned to trust that He is good and faithful always.


21. When we ‘give up’ things for God, we get God Himself. It’s never a sacrifice because the Giver is greater than the gifts. 


22. Our worth is not derived by what we do but who we are. 


23. Peace is not found in the absence of anxiety but in the presence of the One who is perfect in love and power.


24. Watch your doctrine closely because it’s impossible to love a God that you do not know. 


25. The greatest gift that I can give to my church is my personal holiness. 


26. Artists have a wonderful way of bringing beauty and form to abstract theological principles and doctrines. Encourage them to use their gifts to serve! 


27. In a Western society that is increasingly cash rich and time poor, one of the greatest gifts you can give to another is quality time.


28. Our world is hungry for people who can listen well. 


29. To be vulnerable is to be human. To love another is an emotional risk that can lead to disappointment and heart break, but I would rather feel the mess of ‘real life’ than to hide behind a filtered and lonely life.


30. And finally…it is my prayer that I will always be in awe of  Jesus. I never want the gospel to become a stale and irrelevant story. I want to feel it. I want to see the weight of my imperfections in light of God’s unconditional love and mercy. I want the mind of Christ so that the gospel shapes how I think, feel and act. I want God’s love for a wretch like me to empower me to love others the same way. Whether I’ve been a Christian for a day or a decade my goal remains the same: “I want to know Christ” (Phil 3:10) and I want my knowledge of Him to deepen my anticipation for eternity.

Which life lesson resonates with you? Share your thoughts in the comments below!