It’s a Girl: Reflections on International Women’s Day

Yesterday, my home was filled with screams and pink balloons, as my husband and I received the news that we were having a daughter. It was the BEST surprise, just in time for International Women’s Day!

Our reaction was caught on video, and it was so endearing to see my normally stoic husband, dressed head-to-toe in pink, cheering unashamedly with child-like jubilance. I’ve replayed the clip over and over, grateful to know that our girl will be so cherished by her dad.

I’m officially halfway through my pregnancy, and while the last 20 weeks have been filled with many joyful surprises, it has also been a test of patience, endurance and faith. Some days I feel like Wonder Woman—empowered in my own skin and ready to show my girl the strength, courage and love of a mother. Other days, I’m writhing on the couch, defeated in my battle against nausea, fatigue and relentless muscle pain. Some days our home is filled with cheers and laughter, other days it echoes panic and despair.

The pains of pregnancy has given me a new appreciation of mothers and the female body, but most of all, it has left me in awe of God’s creation power. While my body is carrying a child, I can testify that I have played no part in her progress. Having struggled with infertility and loss for five years, I can see that every milestone is a divine miracle—from hearing a tiny heartbeat at 8 weeks, seeing a baby on-screen at 13 weeks, to feeling the first tumble and kick at 19 weeks!

Earlier last week, I was surprised with news that I didn’t want. My pregnancy had been struck by a complication which required an emergency scan and immediate bed rest. For the first time in my life, I felt fiercely protective and yet powerless to protect. Chained to the bed, I was crushed by a tension so anxiety-inducing, that I had no choice but to cry to God and wait for answers. Thankfully, the morning came with relief. Although my body is weak, the baby was safe, and somehow, my scrawny frame was carrying an enormous child weighing in at the 86th percentile!

For me, pregnancy has been a wild ride, filled with highs and lows. I have learned of the woman’s strength, and that God has granted mothers the unique capacity to bear the physical pain and burdens of child-bearing. But I have also learned of my own fragility, and so I am grateful to God for growing, sustaining, and protecting our daughter—especially on days when I am powerless to do so.

Today, on International Women’s Day, I have reflected on the values that I want to pass on to my daughter. While Wonder Woman resilience and courage definitely tops the list, I also want to model humility and faith. As a parent, I want to be open with my failures and weaknesses, so that my daughter can see that though I have been given the role of her mother, I am definitely not qualified to stand as her Maker. There is a power that is perfected in weakness and a strength empowered by faith.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

– Psalm 121:1-2